WWE Velocity Results: 10/30/04
By: RingInsider.com on 11/01/04
WWE Velocity
Hosted by Josh Mathews and Bill DeMott
Report by Matt Zylbert
Shannon Moore vs Carlito Carribean Cool
Hey Carlito, welcome to the Velocity opener. After the weekly Velocity Carlito Carribean Cool promos, I thought we wouldn't get him on Velocity until months after his debut, but apparently, it only took weeks. It is especially interesting to see him come on Josh's show, just days after spitting an apple in his face. Man, he is arrogant. Jesus is nowhere in sight, however, probably wanting to stay out of Josh's way. Shannon Moore, meanwhile, is on Velocity, as always, but this is his first Velocity since obtaining his new mohawk look. What goes through the mind of Shannon "All That And" Moore?
Right out of the bat, instead of acknowledging Bill's one-year anniversary, Josh makes fun of him; "And Bill, take that mask off. Wait, it's your face!" To quote The Cat from an early-2003 episode of Velocity, "Bill wanna eat yo ass, kid." Bill gets his revenge by bringing up the spitting incident. To our match now as we get a tie-up into the corner to start, where Carlito pats him on the cheek as they break it up. They engage in an exchange of arm-bars soon after, with Carlito getting to the ropes after Shannon was in control with one. As they break away again, Carlito shoves him down and runs outside, prompting a funny line from Bill.
Josh: "Carlito is egotistical and self-glorifying."
Bill: "You just named half the locker room."
To quote Scott Keith, I love shoot comments that aren't supposed to be shoot comments. Carlito takes his time on the outside, as Bill points out how they're saying "coooool," and not "boooo," which was Josh thought. Heh, it's possible. Like in St. Louis, they didn't boo Jeff Suppan, they were going "Soupppp." I can't confirm that after his embarrassing mistake at third-base, though. Focusing on the match again as Carlito re-enters the ring and greets his foe with a kick to the mid-section. Shannon still manages to pick his leg and take him down, allowing him to flip over Carlito and hit a dropkick from behind that sends him back outsie. The leader of the Moore-Ons tries to follow it up with a plancha, but cannot connect as Carlito sidesteps it and levels him with a clothesline, thus giving him the advantage. Back inside, Carlito stomps away and gets a count of two, before resorting to some punches on the mat. An Irish-whip to the corner later leads to a snapmare for another two-count, before going to the chinlock. Meanwhile, Josh asks where Bill was when he was getting bullied in the back, to which Bill responds, "I have other things to do to prepare for Billocity other than watch you insult the WWE superstars." Bill's so dedicated. If Michael "Nat King" Cole had that mentality, maybe so many people wouldn't hate him. Shannon punches his way out of the hold, but runs straight into a kick. Carlito then hits a knee-lift and a clothesline for two. He whips Shannon off the ropes, and despite a sunset flip for a near fall, Carlito whacks him down again with a back elbow. He proceeds with choking, as Shannon tries fighting back again with punches. The United States Champion boots him into the corner instead, prior to whipping him into the opposite corner. Shannon dodges a charge and manages a schoolboy for two, but cannot follow up as Carlito gets right back on him with a snapmare into a sit-down bow-and-arrow. That resthold was used so much during the Matt Hardy days of Velocity, but has not been utilized much since. Just pointing that out for your Useless Fact of the Day. Anyway, Shannon The Magnificent escapes, but is whipped into the corner. Nonetheless, he retaliates with a back elbow to the charging Carlito Carribean Cool, and gets his comeback offense going from there. Kicks! Clothesline! Clothesline! Backdrop! From the second rope now, Shannon successfully executes the Mooregasm... but only for two. Josh disappointed me by just calling it a "swining neckbreaker from the second rope," especially since he's the one who named the move in the first place. Either way, Carlito kicked out, and fantasy owners of him will be happy to know that they will get points for him kicking out of Shannon's finisher. Wait, does WWE.com even know what Shannon Moore's finisher is? Because he really has two (The Halo is the other), and the last time he won a match on Velocity, it was with the Mooregasm over Paul London back in like March. Shannon throws a temper tantrum at this point... wait, that's what the old heel Shannon Moore would do. Instead, the former MFer goes for the ten-punch count in the corner, but at six, Carlito drops him with snake eyes. With that done, Carlito plants him with the Rocker Dropper neckbreaker (aka Randy Orton's first finisher, a move he once used on Velocity in 2002!), and that's all she wrote. Nice little match here as Shannon got in more offense than I expected. Carlito still has room for improvement, though, if he is to become a big star.
Winner: Carlito Carribean Cool
Commercial (Does anyone else but me mark out when John Cena mentions Velocity in his Day of Reckoning rap? Cena always has my respect from his old Velocity raps back in the day, in which I still even wonder: Does Josh really do "naked knee bends in the back"?)
Josh and Bill intro Tough Enough highlights from this past week's Smackdown, which saw the seven finalists (John Meyer quit) deliver mostly abysmal promos dissing The Big Show, and later led to Show giving each a bodyslam. Wisely, production cut out the no-sold jobs. It still amazes me how much that guy Dan looks, sounds, and acts like Jeremy Shockey. They must be related.
Commercial (They show Velocity pyro in the Survivor Seried commercial! Look for it!)
Luther Reigns vs Mike Mondo
Luther Squash time! Yes! While it is not a weekly Velocity occurence, much like the Albert Squash, Bill DeSquash Squash, O'Haire O'Squash, and Jindrak Squash were back in their own different eras, the Luther Squash does prove to be just as entertaining in its once-every-three-weeks span. I always get lots of joy watching some big, scary guy annihalate a jobber. It's just very hughmorrus.
Hey, wasn't Mike Mondo on HeAT last week? Yeah, he got squashed by Rodney Mack, and though Al Snow wasn't there, he'll always be a Babbakanouche. Now he's jobber meat for Luther. To our hopeful squash now as Mondo grabs a headlock to start, but that doesn't go anywhere as Luther simply shoves him away and kicks him down. Meanwhile, Josh bets Bill a million dollars that Luther will win this match, leading to another Bill DeMott rant about Tough Enough. I'd like to see him DeSquash some of those kids on Velocity. Luther goes to work on Mondo with some Haku-esque thrust punches, before cinching in a single-leg crag. In honor of Bill DeMott, "What's the difference between a single-leg and a double-leg Boston crab?" ONE! Haha. Bill actually used that joke in one of his first Velocity episodes. Come on, you remember it, too. Don't act like you don't. Mondo gets out of the hold and manages some punches, but that'd be it for him as Luther grabs him by the throat and cleans his clock with a short-arm clothesline. Shades of Albert and Chuck Palumbo. Now that I think about those two (Not that I don't always think about them on Saturday nights), doesn't it suck that the main man I got for my two favorite wrestlers, Mark Jindrak, who became a favorite of mine as well, doesn't even appear on Velocity anymore? And on the other side, Albert's injured for who-knows-how-long, while Palumbo has one of the most mysterious gimmicks of all-time. At least he still does the International Business Organization Kick and the Italian Drop. Away from that, Luther continues his dominance as he lifts Mondo up for a suplex and drops him stomach-first over the top rope. With him in position, Luther boots him in the face, then just outright throws him off the apron to the outside. My words don't do it justice but it looked like a pretty sick bump.
Bill: "Do I have to say it? Say it. Somebody call Mike Mondo's momma and tell..."
Josh: "Yeah, tell her he's not coming home. Ever."
HE SAID IT!!! For some reason, Josh actually hasn't said that in awhile, and here he doesn't say it with as much passion as he used to. Is it because I mark out whenever he says that? Don't worry, Josh, when I commentate for USA Pro, I make sure to get in that line after a hard bump or a squash (Which there rarely are in Indies), so it will live forever. After choking Mondo against the steel post, Luther heads back inside, where he delivers an elbow drop and ends it with his Roll of the Dice neckbreaker to pick up the three-count. Satisfying Luther Squash, as always, not as satsifying as the one where he just absolutely dismantled Ricky Vega a few weeks ago.
Winner: Luther Reigns
Commercial
Monster Job of the Week (What?): In the Chavo/Nunzio match from Smackdown, Kidman attempts to pull the R-trigger on his Game Cube, but misses, and Chavo beats Nunzio with the Gory Bomb. Anyone remember when Chavo was the champ, and Nunzio won the number one contendership on Velocity, but it took him three weeks to get his shot? As a reminder, the 2nd Annual Matt Zylbert Velocity Awards are coming up, and that fatal four-way should be considered as a Velocity Match-of-the-Year candidate. A lot of great choices (The first Noble vs London match from March, Rey & Kidman vs Noble & Nunzio, etc.) this year.
Doug Basham w/Danny Basham vs Hardcore Holly
Believe it or not, this match has been six months in the making. How? If you don't no, maybe you haven't watched the SEVERAL Bashams/Holly & Billy Gunn matches this year, in which, for some unexplained reason, Hardcore Holly and Doug Basham always had an issue. Maybe Doug didn't like the GHB he was receiving from him every week... Gunn-Holly Bomb, of course. Now, in one-on-one action, they finally get to go at it! FEEL the suspense... of this heated mid-card contest.
Bill: "What does a metrosexual man dress up for as Halloween?"
Josh: "Bill DeMott."
HAHA. To our match now as Doug and Bob tie-up into the ropes, where they break it up, and Doug shoves his nemesis. Holly, in turn, respond with a slap, leading to a stare-down between both men from opposite sides of the ring. You kind of get the feeling they have a mutual respect for each other at this point in time, after many months of feuding on Velocity. This is bigger than Triple H/Randy Orton. Tie-up again, this time with Holly grabbing a headlock. Doug whips him away, only to receive a shoulder block. As Holly bounces off the ropes, he ducks under a chop, and as Doug ducks himself, thinking his foe will chop him, Holly hits him with a shot to the back instead. Then some chops. As Holly chops away in the corner, Danny gets on the apron to distract, and is successful. He suckers him away, and when Holly turns around again, Doug takes him down with his signature leg-line. I love that move. Josh points out that like the last time he did it, on Velocity against RVD a few weeks ago, he hurt his hamstring, just as he did here. Nonetheless, Doug starts his offense with punches and springboard elbow out of the corner for two. Holly briefly comes back with punches, but Doug thwarts his attempt with a thumb-to-the-eye, before sending him shoulder-first into the post. Following some kicks, Doug distracts referee [St.] Nick Patrick, enabling Danny to choke Bob from the outside. Doug capitalizes with a snapmare, and follows up by dropping his knee over Holly's left arm. That gives him enough time to do the Randy Orton pose, which is just hilarious on so many levels. Shortly after, Doug goes to the arm-bar, which does not garner a submission as Holly punches out and hits a pair of clotheslines. A powerslam later gets two, so Holly goes to the high-rik district, a place where he is very inconsistent. Luckily, this time he hits a decent clothesline, and gets two on the proceeding pin. He now Irish-whips him into the corner, and despite being able to block Basham's boot, he eats a clothesline. Doug cannot capitalize, though, as he misses that same springboard elbow. Bob cannot capitalize neither, as he goes face-first into Doug's boot from the top. They continue to go back-and-forth as Doug whips Holly into the corner and tries a clothesline, but runs into the DROPKICK THAT BEAT A-TRAIN instead. That gets two, and Danny pops up on the apron again. Holly nails him, then slingshots Doug into Danny to take him out completely. The Basham is ripe for the picking so Holly administers the Alabama Slam for the 1-2-3. Not bad at all, and there was a lot of history involved, so it's about time these two had the blow-off.
Winner: Hardcore Holly
Commercial (I heard Spanky's music during the "Hey! Spring of Trivia" show commercial!)
Josh and Bill intro more highlights from Smackdown, this time being the Booker T/Orlando Jordan main event, which saw Booker win and earn his title shot for Survivor Series. It's so sad to see one of my Velocity babies growing up and main eventing Smackdown. A year ago, OJ was beating Kanyon every week on Velocity (Which still feels like a year ago), while Bradshaw was about to enter his Velocity feuds with Rhyno and Albert.
Commercial
Rewind: This past week on Smackdown, Rey scores the upset victory over Kurt Angle with some help from Eddie Guerrero and Rob Van Dam. Speaking of RVD...
Rob Van Dam vs Rene Dupree w/Kenzo Suzuki, Hiroko, & Fifi
In late-July, we were treated to a very solid main event between Rob Van Dam and Rene Dupree. Fast forward a few months later, and we get the Velocity re-match, except this isn't during their United States Title feud, and there's a bunch more people at ringside. Van Dam and Dupree have worked so many times this year against one-another that they're approaching British Bulldog/Warlord territory from 1991, but unlike those two, they work well together. Let's just get to it.
PINK FIFI~! For the first time in history, Fifi is actually pink (Bill's reaction is hilarious), and like I've said in the past, there is no better place to debut a new look than Velocity. Did Fifi get tips from Josh? After all, Josh likes to take his dog for makeovers and put little bows in it. In the words of Bill, though, "My dog has fleas." I still remember that classic arguement. To our main event now as we get a very nice sequence of counters and reversals, leading to the inevitable stand-off. As they approach each other, Dupree slaps him, so RVD responds with a straight front-kick to the face. A bodyslam sets up a Rolling Thunder attempt, but Kenzo gets involved by grabbing Van Dam's foot, and Dupree capitalizes with a clothesline. RVD even does the Marty Jannetty sell, which I find interesting. Any similarities between those two? Insert Joke Here. As a result of Kenzo's dastardly deed, he gets the boot, as does innocent and cute Hiroko, so we're down to one-on-one. Dupree seems to have no problem with that at the moment, firmly in control with punches and an elbow drop for two. Chinlock applied here, which does not last very long as RVD elbows out and schoolboys for two. Dupree clotheslines him back down, however, and follows up with a snapmare into a hard kick. We go back to the chinlock, as Bill and Josh chat up some more.
Josh: "Who knows what's gonna go down on Smackdown this upcoming week from St. Louis? The St. Lunatics will be in the house, but who knows what's gonna happen?"
Bill: "The who?"
Josh: "That's what they call people in St. Louis. The St. Lunatics."
Bill: "The St. Louis Cardinals."
Josh: "That's street talk."
Bill: "So you're a thug?"
Josh: "Naw, I just talk street, dawg."
Bill: "Dog?"
Josh is a hypocrite! I remember a month or two ago, Josh did refer to himself as a thug. It was that episode when he came up with the name "Big Poppa Bill DeMott." It's okay, Josh, you're still *the* man. Focusing on the action again as RVD escapes again, but Dupree throws him down by the hair, permitting him to do the French Tickler. It's DANCER A LA FRANCAIS. This gives RVD the time to recover, and as Dupree bounces off the ropes, he hits him with a spinning heel kick.
Josh: "That'll teach Rene Dupree to do a little dance... and make a little love... pretty much just have, get down tonight."
Bill: "What... are you talking about?"
Bill then admits to listening to KC and the Sunshine Band, which is funny because he didn't know who "Jamison Brown" is. Then again, Josh didn't know who Jack LeLane is. Or Pete ("Who the hell is Pete?"). Does anyone actually rememeber this stuff or am I only humoring myself? Anyway, both men get back to their feet, and RVD gains the upper hand with punches and a heel kick (Both men almost fell through the ropes on a headlock, in the process). After a clothesline, RVD whips the French Phenom into the corner, where he manages the rolling monkey flip. Then a low dropkick. Then a modified Rolling Thunder for two. Back on commentary, Bill says he wants to be a "tooth" for Halloween, which I think is one of the most brilliant ideas ever. He then explains he wants to be one because Torrie was the tooth fairy. Fair enough. Meanwhile, RVD continues to dominate, slingshotting his rival into the post before putting him in place with a backdrop. He tries to finish him off with the Five-Star Frog Splash, but to no avail as Dupree moves out of the way. Rene capitalizes with an Oklahoma roll for two, then goes outside to fetch a chair and his tag belt. He heaves the title into the ring, which Hebner retrieves and hands outside, while Dupree attempts to use the chair. Instead, though, RVD tatoos him with the Van Daminator, and covers for the three count. Solid match, as expected.
Winner: Rob Van Dam
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