WWE Raw Results: 12/29/03 By: Rob Morris on 12/30/03
The 12/29 episode of RAW IS BACK ON STONE COLD'S TERMS aired live from San Antonio. It was a thumbs' up show, headlined by an excellent and heated Triple H vs. "Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels main event, plus the (latest) return of Steve Austin. Footage aired from two weeks ago of the Mick Foley angle, where he was scheduled to fight Randy Orton but instead walked out, refusing to fight even when Orton spat in his face.
Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler announced that the main event would be HHH defending the RAW World Title against HBK in the latter's hometown of San Antonio. They also reported that there would be a live meeting of the WWE Board of Directors in Stamford to consider allowing Austin to return to RAW.
Foley's music began playing, but instead it was Orton who came out. That was no surprise since they've done the "heel comes out to the departed babyface's music" routine too many times for it to be effective anymore. JR said he tried to call Foley for Christmas but he didn't answer the phone. Orton said he thought about Foley's walk-out over the past two weeks, and concluded that Foley simply was a coward. But he commended Foley for at least being a smart coward, who turned tail and ran because he could see that getting in the ring with a legend killer like Orton would have been the biggest mistake of his life. There was a mild "Foley" chant but it faded quickly. Orton said everything happened so fast two weeks ago that he didn't get properly announced as the winner, so he told Lilian Garcia to get her cute little butt in the ring and do the honors. Lilian, who does have a cute little butt, came in and declared Orton to be the winner and still IC champion. Orton whispered something to her, and she re-did the announcement, this time billing Orton as the "new hardcore legend". This brought Booker T out to the ramp top. He said Orton needs to be worried more about guys who are there in the arena rather than someone who has left. He said his New Year's resolution is to kick Orton's ass and regain the IC Title. But as Booker was doing his "can you dig it, sucka" catch phrase, Mark Henry attacked him from behind. Theodore Long cheered Henry on as he mauled Booker and left him laying. Several refs ran out and protected Booker. Orton casually left, and as he passed the battered Booker, he "courageously" offered to defend the IC belt against him later on the show. Good opening sequence.
Eric Bischoff confronted Long & Henry and seemed angry at them for attacking Booker. I was sure this was another of those Bischoff swerves where he pretends to be mad at the heels but then smirks and commends them. But instead, the story here was that Bischoff was trying to look like a fair-minded guy since the WWE board was meeting to discuss the Austin situation, and he was worried that overtly heel behavior on his part would cause them to re-hire Austin for sure. Long told Bischoff he wants to call in his favor from Survivor Series. He said this as if he had already privately told Bischoff what favor he and Henry want. Bischoff promised to deliver the favor next week, and gave Long & Henry the rest of the night off. Long said Bischoff better deliver next week.
Rob Van Dam defeated Scott Steiner in 6:07. Steiner slammed RVD and tossed him around the ring. RVD hit some kicks and a flip splash. He went to the top but Steiner caused him to get crotched. Steiner hit a belly-to-belly suplex. He hurled RVD out and rammed him into the stairs. Steiner hit some chops, a suplex, and an elbow. He did the push-ups to taunt RVD. RVD came back with a stiff kick, the rolling thunder, and a split-leg moonsault. He then won with a thrust kick and the frog splash. Decent match.
Footage aired of HBK's January 1997 World Title win over Psycho Sid at that year's Royal Rumble. This was the first of three such segments hyping HBK's title shot later on the show. These segments are great as they make the title quest look important.
Chris Jericho and Christian argued backstage. Each was angry at the other for the shoves they traded on RAW two weeks ago. Jericho seemed to be trying to patch things up, but Christian walked out, accusing Jericho of ditching him for a girl. Something tells me Christian won't get much sympathy over that complaint, especially when the girl is Trish Stratus.
They cut to Stamford, where Jonathan Coachman was camped outside the boardroom where the meeting on Austin's future was taking place. JR had earlier assumed that Austin was there to plead his case in person, but when they didn't show the actual meeting it telegraphed that he was really in San Antonio. Vince McMahon walked up. Coach said that Linda McMahon was planning to address the board on Austin's behalf, so he wanted to know who would make the opposing case. Hey, the night they debated Ric Flair's job, the only case allowed to be presented was the opposing one. Vince said the anti-Austin case would be presented by someone highly intelligent and articulate, by which he meant himself. He said that as WWE owner he could technically do whatever he wanted regarding Austin, but since WWE is a public company he has an obligation to allow the board to have their say. Since when is that the case? Don't guys get fired and re-hired in angles all the time by general managers, let alone the owner, without board approval? Maybe the Survivor Series contract made this more binding, but that never made much difference before. Vince claimed the board agrees with him 90% of the time and acted confident they'd follow his lead again. Back in Texas, JR & Lawler worried that Austin's surprise appearance in Iraq as Santa Claus might have sealed his fate with Vince.
Footage aired of the Smackdown show in Iraq. This triggered a "USA" chant in the crowd.
The Dudleys did an interview about Foley. D-Von said they've looked up to Foley throughout their career and said they wouldn't be where they are today without him. But Bubba Ray sadly expressed the belief that Foley turned into a coward two weeks ago. Lawler agreed, and JR had to admit they all had a point.
Eddie Praver & Russell Simpson beat the Dudleys by DQ in 1:48. Flair came out in khaki pants and a ref shirt to be the special referee. JR said it was a conflict of interest for Flair to ref, since he's half of the reigning World Tag championship team and the Dudleys are top contenders. Flair ended up quickly DQ'ing the Dudleys when Bubba, while doing the Dusty Rhodes fisticuffs and crotch thrust routine, used a closed fist. So the local duo got a win. Bubba punched Flair afterward, but Batista ran in and flattened Bubba with a spinebuster and D-Von with a sit-down powerbomb (now called the Batista Bomb). This came off kind of hilarious because Lawler noted that Flair was technically within his authority as ref to DQ the Dudleys for the closed fist. JR had to explain that refs traditionally are lenient about that violation, which actually made heel ref Flair look like more of a law & order guy than the usual ref crew. JR asked when the last time was that someone was DQ'ed for a closed fist, and in truth it was probably decades ago, other than some gimmick matches they've done a few times where the first guy to throw a punch would lose. In those matches, the heel usually throws some punches the ref doesn't see, and the babyface then gets DQ'ed when he's caught throwing a punch in response.
Footage aired of HBK's August 2002 defeat of HHH at SummerSlam.
Bischoff lectured the refs, telling them Flair did a great job by DQ'ing the Dudleys for using a closed fist. He cited that, as well as his recent suspension of Goldberg for going on a rampage, as an example of the type of administration he runs. He told the refs he expects them to strictly enforce the rules in the name of fair play. They agreed to do so, but luckily this was all an angle and they didn't DQ anyone else for the rest of the show for throwing a closed fist, otherwise we might be back to the Bill Watts' WCW era of moves banned from off the top rope. JR accused Bischoff of sucking up to the Board of Directors.
Vince emerged from the boardroom in Stamford. He seemed cautiously optimistic. He told Coach he gave Austin his due for doing many positive things to help WWE, but said the company can't live in the past and the current WWE product doesn't need a foul-mouthed, beer-swilling, hand-gesturing bully hanging around. He claimed to have told the board this in an unbiased, professional way. Regarding the one million fan signatures requesting that Austin be re-hired, Vince was hilarious. He said the fans are like little children who need to be guided by their more experienced parents, noting that the typical child, if asked what he wants for breakfast, would say candy.
Terri interviewed Lita & Trish & Stacy Keibler, who were dressed as Santa's helpers for an upcoming match. They looked really cute. But the interview didn't last long as the screeching of tires and sound of a horn blowing sent everyone scattering. Austin roared into the arena in his truck. Terri asked why he was there, and he displayed his cell phone, saying he was waiting to hear from the board and that there was no way in hell he'd miss a show in Texas.
Hour two began with Orton defeating Booker in 5:57 to retain the IC Title. Orton was again introduced as the new hardcore legend. Lawler said Orton's Christmas cards featured a photo of himself with the IC belt on the front. I can believe that. Booker came out not selling the earlier beating at all, though when he lost JR & Lawler cited it as a factor. Booker had Orton reeling early with a series of kicks and chops. Orton scored some twos with a dropkick and a lariat. They slugged it out, forcing poor JR to try to explain why the ref didn't DQ either one of them. The explanation was that the ref was showing discretion, which is to say he was ignoring the rules after being ordered by Bischoff not to do that. Booker hit a boot to the face and a flying lariat for a near fall. He did the spinaroonie. At this point, Kane's pyro went off and Kane started his slow walk to the ring. Booker was distracted, nailed with the RKO, and pinned. Short, but a solid match. Orton beat a hasty retreat, leaving Booker to get mauled again and chokeslammed by Kane, who did this apparently for no better reason than he felt like doing it. Why, Kane, why?
Footage aired of HBK's World Title victory in the first elimination chamber over HHH at Survivor Series in November 2002.
Coach interviewed Linda back in Stamford. She said the usual nice things about listening to the fans and so forth. Coach accused her of having a vendetta against Bischoff and of wanting to undermine his authority by bringing Austin back. She replied that she keeps her personal feelings out of business decisions, unlike Bischoff, whom she said is guided by ego. She hoped the board would bring Austin back to provide some balance on RAW against Bischoff's ego.
Jericho delicately approached Trish and offered her a Christmas gift. Trish said he was sweet, but then said a gift can't make her forget that he had a bet with Christian that he could have his way with her in bed. Trish started crying (about as well as Stephanie does it, which is to say, not well) and said she really cared about Jericho and he broke her heart. Jericho apologized and said he made a mistake, but Trish said she was the one who made the mistake. She gave Jericho his gift back and ran off.
Austin was waiting in his truck, drinking beer. The phone rang, but it was some friend of his inquiring about the board vote, not the board itself calling.
Trish & Lita & Stacy beat Molly Holly & Victoria & Miss Jackie in a Happy Holidays match in 3:21. All the ladies here were dressed as Santa's helpers. Molly and Victoria bullied Stacy, figuring she was a weak link, but Stacy surprised Molly with some kicks. Stacy should insure those legs with Lloyd's of London. Lita came in and got tied up in the bad girl corner. The match got lost a little during this part. Lita escaped with a headscissors on Molly. Trish tagged in and hit Molly with a Thesz press, a huracanrana, and the Stratusfaction for the pin. Afterward, Victoria went to help Molly up, but turned on her and flattened her with the women's title belt. Victoria rubbed the belt with that psycho look on her face, so I guess she'll be getting a title shot.
Austin got another call, and this time it was from one of the board members, informing him that he'd been hired back and made co-general manager again. But Austin was pissed, noting that he wasn't re-hired on the terms and conditions he laid down. He didn't say what those terms were, but presumably they included repeal of the provocation rule. He told the board to shove the job up their ass, and drove off, dragging a bunch of equipment he'd backed into behind him.
Lawler said Vince was a genius, theorizing that he talked the board into re-hiring Austin under terms which he knew Austin wouldn't accept. That didn't quite sound like what Vince said he did earlier. JR was angry, saying Austin was done in by corporate politics. Hell, considering the Survivor Series stips, Austin should have considered himself lucky beyond belief they even gave him a hearing.
HHH defeated HBK in 29:12 to retain the RAW World Title. They gave this match plenty of time, running about ten minutes past 11 PM, and it was worth it. Flair came out with HHH, of course. It's always weird seeing Earl Hebner refereeing a title match where HBK is the challenger. HBK hooked an early headlock. HHH came back with a solid elbow. HHH threw HBK over but he skinned the cat and ended up taking HHH over the top to the floor. HBK slugged Flair and hit a springboard crossbody over the top onto both Flair and HHH. Back in the ring, they traded arm bars. HHH went to the ropes. HBK broke clean but then caused HHH to get crotched. HBK hit some kicks and an arm drag. They brawled, throwing chops and closed fists, the latter of which didn't lead to a DQ on either guy. That was again inconsistent with Bischoff's earlier demands, but in this case it's better to be inconsistent than to be consistent with a lame policy of truly DQ'ing for closed fists. HHH took a huge bump over. When HHH returned, HBK caught him in a sleeper. HHH escaped and they went to series of near falls, ending when HHH sent HBK crashing over the top to the floor with a high backdrop. Spike TV went to a commercial break, and when the action returned HHH was dominating HBK. HHH hit a backbreaker and began working on the back, scoring some twos. HHH threw HBK out and slammed him into the stairs. For a minute it appeared that HBK's shoulder was dislocated. Returning to the ring, HHH hooked an abdominal stretch with Flair's help. HBK escaped with a hip toss and some chops. HHH hit a high knee. HBK came back quickly and hooked the figure four. This had awesome heat as Flair was going nuts at ringside trying to find a way around Hebner to save HHH. Finally, Flair raked HBK's eyes to break the hold. HBK came off the top but was caught by a HHH knee. HHH tried for the pedigree, with HBK escaping via a backdrop. They did a collision spot where HHH got nailed in the groin. They brawled with fists and chops as the heat remained high. HBK hit a flying forearm and an elbow off the top. He was over like crazy in his hometown. HBK started to go for the chin music, but stopped to take a shot at Flair. HHH went after HBK and the ref took a bump. HHH gave HBK a DDT. Flair tossed the title belt to HHH, who clocked HBK with it. Hebner revived and counted but HBK kicked out at two to a massive pop. HHH went for a pedigree again, with HBK blocking it and Hebner taking yet another bump. HHH removed the padding on a turnbuckle, but it was he (HHH) who ended up slamming face-first into the exposed steel. HBK covered HHH, who juiced from the shot. Hebner was still out, but Bischoff ran in as ref and counted. HHH kicked out at two. JR & Lawler were amazed that Bischoff seemed to be officiating fairly, as HHH and HBK traded a series of near falls with Bischoff showing no favoritism in his counts. The crowd heat was awesome. Finally, HBK hit the chin music and fell across HHH for the pin attempt. Bischoff counted the one-two-three and the crowd exploded, assuming HBK had won the belt. It certainly looked that way, but Bischoff got on the mic and announced HHH as the winner. He told HBK that his shoulders were also down when he pinned HHH, and that in cases where both wrestlers' shoulders are down for a count of three, the ruling goes in favor of the champion, just like in a draw. A replay on the Titantron confirmed that HBK's shoulders had indeed also been down for the three count, but the ruling still came off as a disappointing conclusion to such an excellent and heated match, and it left the fans live in HBK's hometown feeling screwed. Great match, screwy ending. How often we have seen that in the past decades! Bischoff condescendingly told HBK it just wasn't his night. HBK gave HHH, who had just staggered back up, the chin music and then slugged Bischoff. As HBK was walking out, Bischoff yelled after him that he was fired. But at this point, Austin ran in to a major pop. He said the board had agreed (presumably in a second phone conversation) to let him come back under his own terms and conditions, and that his first actions were to re-hire HBK and promise him a re-match. He told Bischoff there's a new sheriff in town, and gave him a stunner. So I guess we're back to where we were a few months ago, with Austin sharing power and no longer restrained by the provocation rule. So much for the Survivor Series stipulations. Austin celebrated with beer as JR wondered about the implications of Austin's return.
