WWE Heat Results: 1/4/04
By: Rob Morris on 01/05/04
Heat Report for 1/4/2004.
Report By: John Keane
Matches taped on 12/29/2003 in San Antonio, Texas.
Your Hosts are Jonathan Coachman and Al Snow.
We start off backstage-Steven Richards (Heat’s self-proclaimed General Manager, as if I had to remind you!) happily sits on his Stevie Corp. limousine (a hastily re-labeled emergency conveyance) when Test approaches. He bitches at suffering a loss to the boss last week, claims it was only due to being distracted by Steven’s lovely companion Victoria. He demands a re-match, Steven not only accepts but offers to give the big doof a ride! Test kicks StevieCorp1, then hops away in pain.
Pyros go, Coach and Al welcome us in for the first Heat of the new year, we get straight down to business…
1st Match: Test vs. Steven Richards, with Victoria. Referee is Jack Doan.
Test out first to big heat, Steven enters next to a mixed response, Victoria follows, crowd understandably warms up-Test exits the ring, Steven takes a forearm to the back of the neck and gets laid out on the entry ramp. Victoria keeps her distance, Steven gets unceremoniously tossed into the ring, Test follows and lays in he boots. Closed fist punches follow, Test backs off after a warning. Steven hauls himself up in a corner, Test scoops him up, sets him on his shoulder, Steven manages to get his feet on a top turnbuckle, kicks free, lands on his feet, connects with a pair of forearms to the face, Test ducks a third, sets for a full nelson slam, Steven blocks it, connects with a knee to the gut. Steven scores with a snap suplex (!), Test down and up, Steven goes off ropes, swinging neckbreaker sends Test back to the canvas. Steven sets in a corner, Test gets to his feet, running bulldog sends him down for 2. Both men up, Steven in with a chop, Test to ropes, Steven sets for the whip, Test puts on the brakes and scores with a kneelift. Test sets for his pumphandle slam, Steven floats over, Test blocks a forearm to the face, takes Steven down with a half nelson slam, goes for the cover, 1-2, Test pulls Steven clear of the canvas before the count of 3. Victoria seethes as Test drags her man up by the hair, Steven gets trapped with his head between the ropes, Test calls for the Big Boot, ref orders him to back off then attempts to free Steven. Victoria enters, slap to Test’s face gets her a nice pop but little else, Test grabs her and lays in the lip lock of total doofitude. Yech-Victoria seems to have liked it, she rubs Test’s chest-then kicks him right in the chongs. Good for you gorgeous! Victoria bails, Test staggers to ropes as Steven gets freed, rollup gets the 1-2-3.
Winner: Steven Richards.
It’s announced our Main Event will see René Dupree & Rob Conway taking on Val Venis & Lance Storm. Break.
Straight back to work…
2nd Match: Rico, with Miss Jackie (Gayda), vs. Brandon Groom. Referee is Charles Robinson.
Brandon already in the ring, decent heat for Rico. Bell rings, circling into a lockup, Rico breaks off and administers a swat to the butt. Another lockup, Brandon goes behind, cinches in a waistlock, Rico gets taken down to the canvas. Both men get to their feet, Brandon maintains the hold-until Rico assumes a 3-point stance and starts wiggling. Brandon backs off in obvious disgust, gets in a quick shove, Rico responds with a slap to the face, a knee to the gut and a forearm to the back that sends Brandon to his knees. Rico hauls Brandon up at the ropes, tries for a whip, Brandon reverses, Rico to opposite ropes, Brandon scores with a hiptoss as he rebounds. Rico down and up, Brandon immediately sends him back to the canvas with an armdrag, Rico staggers up right into a body slam. Rico up slowly, Brandon fires off a standing dropkick, Rico drops and retreats to a corner. Jackie ascends the apron, Brandon casually goes to deal with her, Rico gets to his feet, Brandon ducks the blind charge clothesline, Rico goes off ropes, rebounds DIRECTLY into a stiff-looking clothesline from Brandon, Rico eats canvas and crawls toward the ropes. Brandon approaches, Rico fires off a kick to the gut, then tosses Brandon through the ropes to the outside. Rico follows, lays in a pair of boots, then slams Brandon’s head into a guard barrier. Rico tosses Brandon into the ring, his head and neck hang over the apron, Rico gets in a sharp boot to the face, Brandon writhes his way to the center of the ring. Rico re-enters, lackadaisical cover just gets 2. Rico gets to his feet first, Brandon takes a pair of double-axehandles to the back of the neck, Rico hauls him up, connects with a punch to the face and an elbow to the back. Brandon to knees, Rico scores with a sharp knee to the face, Brandon flops back first to the canvas. Rico grabs his legs, gyrates, then drops a leaping elbow to the face. Another lazy cover just gets 2, Rico hauls Brandon up, chops are exchanged, Rico resorts to my all-time favorite move, the ol’ thumb to the eye. Brandon staggers to a corner, Rico connects with a forearm to the face, follows up with his kick to the face off the 2nd rope, Brandon goes down and appears out. Rico goes up top, tries for a big splash, Brandon gets his knees up, both men are down. Camera goes to Jackie as the crowd tells Rico that he sucks, Brandon manages a rollup out of nowhere, good for 2. Both men to their feet, Rico again gets rolled up but kicks out at 2. Brandon desperately tries to keep Rico grounded, small package gets another 2. Both men up, Rico connects with a (rather tame-looking) slap, Brandon backs to the ropes, Rico sets for the whip, Brandon reverses, Rico to ropes, Brandon scores with a powerslam as he rebounds, good for 2. Brandon goes up top, Rico gets to his feet, ducks under a flying cross-body, Brandon gets nothing but air and canvas. Rico hauls him up, crisp-looking neckbreaker gets the 1-2-3.
Winner: Rico.
Tonight’s Main Event tag match gets a bit of hype before we break.
WWE Rewind: From last Monday, Booker T challenges Intercontinental Champion Randy Orton to a title match. Book was then laid out by Mark Henry before Randy announced his acceptance.
Coach and Al return to recap last Monday’s Raw. Midway through the show Booker got his shot at the IC title, and appeared ready to get the win-when for some unknown reason Kane decided to make an appearance. Book got distracted, Randy took advantage, quick RKO out of nowhere got the 1-2-3. Post-match the Legend Killer wisely got the hell out of Dodge as Kane hit the ring to beat the crap out of Booker. Why? You got me. Break.
Again, we go straight back to work…
3rd Match: Tommy Dreamer (w/kendo stick) vs. Matt Hardy v1.0 (Matt Facts: His first job was as a carwash, and he’s more extreme than Tommy Dreamer). Referee is Chad Patton.
Nice pop for Tommy, mixed (but loud) response for the Sensei of Mattitude. Tommy leaves his cane in the corner, bell rings, we get the immediate lockup, Matt briefly applies a side headlock, goes behind, hammerlock precedes a quick shove to the back. Matt poses as Tommy’s face clearly says ‘oh great, another sports-entertainment dips***’ good ol’ jab to the face sends Matt spinning. Matt goes for the blind charge of self-righteousness, Tommy counters with a drop toe hold, Matt gets a faceful of canvas. Tommy follows up with a scoop and a slam, Matt crawls to the ropes, Tommy approaches, Matt tosses him through the ropes to the outside. Tommy lands on his feet as Matt cluelessly poses, Innovator of Violence grabs his legs and drags him out to ringside. Tommy gets in a boot to the gut, sets for the DDT, Matt counters by ramming him back first into the apron. Tommy gets body slammed to the ringside mats, then rolled in. Matt follows, fires off a pair of boots to the gut, Tommy rolls to a corner, Matt begins laying in the boots in earnest, ref issues a warning, Matt backs off then drops the elbow. Matt hauls Tommy up in the corner, sets for the whip, Tommy reverses, Matt to opposite corner, Tommy charges, Matt gets an elbow up to the face, Tommy staggered. Matt goes up top, sets for a moonsault, Tommy recovers, shoves him down, Matt gets crotched up top. Tommy ascends 2nd turnbuckle, looks for a superplex, Matt elbows him down. Matt again sets for the moonsault, flies, Tommy rolls clear, Matt eats canvas. Ref counts to 6 as both men get to their feet, forearms to the face are exchanged, Tommy scores a pair of knockdowns with swats to the chest, neckbreaker follows, both men down. Tommy up first, Matt is hauled to his feet in a corner, Tommy sets for the whip, Matt reverses, Tommy to opposite corner, Matt goes for the running clothesline, Tommy ducks under, neckbreaker sends Matt down for 2. Both men up, Tommy sets for the whip at ropes, Matt puts on the brakes, ducks under a haymaker, sets for the Side Efffect, Tommy elbows free, sets for a full nelson slam, Matt wriggles out, Tommy scores with a sharp-looking inverted DDT, covers for 2. Tommy hauls Matt up, looks for the Death Valley Driver, Matt floats through, ducks under a clothesline, scores with the Side Effect-just gets 2! Matt looks about to explode, he quickly collects himself and grabs kendo stick, Tommy gets to his feet, Matt swings for the fences, Tommy ducks under, spinebuster sends Matt down for 2. Tommy grabs the cane, ascends 2nd turnbuckle, Matt gets to his feet, charges, Tommy takes a straight punch to the gut that leaves him crotched up top. Matt ascends 2nd turnbuckle, modifed Twist of Fate sends Tommy face first to the canvas, Matt covers, 1-2-3.
Winner: Matt Hardy v1.0.
Generic announcer chat precedes a break.
Sting of the Night: From last Monday, Stone Cold Steve Austin leaves the arena after rejecting being re-appointed Raw co-General Manager.
Coach and Al return for more recap from last Monday. End of the night saw Shawn Michaels getting a shot at HHH’s World Championship. Great match waited until near the end to get screwy-after a ref bump Eric Bischoff took over the officiating. After several near falls (with Eric seeming to show no favoritism) Shawn fell on top of Hunter after connecting with a superkick. Bischoff rather shockingly counted the clean 1-2-3. HBK celebrated until Eric made the announcement that the winner-and STILL Champion-was HHH. Shawn-and the crowd-appeared ready to go for blood until Eric had a replay roll on the Titantron. And yes, HBK DID have his shoulders to the canvas as he covered Hunter. Eric declared simultaneous pinfalls, with the victory going to the champ. He then took things a bit further, taunting Shawn over his ‘loss’. HBK quickly decked him and made to exit up the ramp. Enraged, Eric told Shawn that he’d not only lost the match, but his job with WWE. Raw looked to be ending on a very down note…
… until the GLASS BROKE, and Stone Cold made his way to the ring as the crowd went nuts. Rattler announced he’s back, and that Shawn was not only re-hired, he’ll also be getting a re-match. He stated ‘a new sheriff’s in town’ and gave Eric a Stunner. Austin called for the brews as the show ended.
Coach and Al appear completely clueless as to Austin’s new role on Raw. Final break.
Main Event…
4th Match: Val Venis & Lance Storm (w/trio of babes) vs. René Dupree & Rob Conway (AKA La Resistance, new & improved version). Referee is Mike Chioda.
OK pop for Val & Lance, HUGE heat for La Res. Bell rings, Lance and Rob start, we go to the lockup, Rob slaps on a side headlock, Lance powers out, takes Rob to the canvas with an armdrag into an armbar. Rob gets to his feet, reverses the armbar, Lance somersaults through, cinches in a front facelock, Rob backs to a neutral corner, ref calls for the break. Lance attempts to break clean, Rob fires off, you guessed it, the ol’ thumb to the eye. Lance staggers, Rob attempts to ram him into the corner, Lance gets a boot on the ropes to block, Rob takes an elbow to the gut before getting a mouthful of turnbuckle. Lance fires off a forearm to the face, sets for the whip, Rob reverses, Lance to opposite corner. Rob charges, Lance springboards over, lands on his feet, Rob puts on the brakes before another eating another turnbuckle sandwich, he turns, Lance connects with a forearm to the face, Rob drops to his knees in the corner. Ref holds Lance back as Rob staggers to La Res corner (why?), René gets the tag. Rob exits, René does his ‘arrogant French jackass’ routine, he and Lance exchange shoves, lockup follows, Lance goes behind, cinches in a waistlock, René reverses, Lance powers out and applies a hammerlock. René elbows out, applies a side headlock, Lance walks him to the ropes and tags in Val. Lance wriggles out of the headlock, shoots René to the ropes, Val enters as Lance drops to the canvas, René steps over Lance as he rebounds, goes straight into Val’s arms, SLAM. Lance gets to his feet and drops an elbow before exiting, 2nd elbow from Val follows, cover is made, René kicks out at 2. Both men up, René backs to ropes, Val connects with a trio of forearms to he face, René fires back with forearms of his own, Val gets shoved into neutral corner, René connects with a pair of hard chops before sending Val face first into top turnbuckle of La Res corner. Rob gets the tag, René exits, Val takes a boot to the gut, Rob sets for the whip, Val reverses, Rob goes off ropes, Val drops him with a back elbow as he rebounds. Val hauls Rob up, slams him right back down, Val goes off the ropes, drops the knee, covers for 2. Both men up, Rob again works in the thumb to the eye (starting to really like that guy), Val gets whipped into La Res corner, René gets elbowed off the apron as Rob sets to charge, Val gets a boot up to the face as he comes in, Rob drops to his knees. Ref checks on him, Val ascends 2nd turnbuckle, René gets back on the apron, Val gets sent back first to the canvas. Lance rushes in, ref shoos him back out as Rob lays in the boots to Val. René ‘helps’ Val to the outside, gets in a quick forearm to the back of the neck before rolling him back in. Rob immediately covers, Val kicks out at 2. Rob hauls him back to his feet, Val gets tossed back into La Res corner, tag is made to René. Rob gets in a flurry of forearms before exiting, Val drop to his knees, René snapmares him to the center of the ring before cinching in a rear chinlock. Val slowly gets to his feet, elbows free, René quickly sends him to the canvas with a forearm to the back of the neck. Val backs to the ropes, René whips him to opposite, sets for the back body drop, Val scouts it as he rebounds, René gets knocked goofy via boot to the face. Val ducks under a wild punch, sets for his half nelson slam, René elbows free, Val again backs to ropes, René sets for the whip, Val puts on the brakes, half nelson slam works just fine this time around, Val too spent to go for the cover, both men stay down and crawl toward corners as the ref counts to 4. Both men make tags, Lance and Rob charge simultaneously, latter goes down to a clothesline. Rob gets to his feet, immediately eats another clothesline, Lance drags him up at ropes, whips him to opposite, Rob gets flattened by a standing dropkick as he rebounds. René enters untagged, Lance ducks under a forearm, fires off a pair of forearms to the face, René to ropes, Lance sets for the whip, René to opposite ropes, Lance connects with a flying leg lariat as he rebounds, René down at ropes. Rob up on rubber legs, Lance scoops him up, sets him on his shoulders, move Al referred to as a Steamroller (looked to me like a rolling reverse Samoan Drop) gets 2. Lance hauls Rob up, whips him hard into neutral corner, charges, Rob ducks under, Lance gets backdropped over the top rope but lands on his feet on the apron. Rob gets staggered by a straight punch, Lance leaps onto the top rope, springboard missile dropkick (yow!) sends Rob to the canvas. Lance covers, gets 2 before René drops a forearm to break up the pinfall. Val enters, René taks a forearm to the back, he flies through the ropes to the outside. Val & Lance go for the double-team, Rob gets whipped to ropes, Val scoops him up into spinebuster/powerbomb position as he rebounds, Lance attempts to go off ropes (looks like he and Val were going to try Garrison Cade & Mark Jindrak’s signature powerbomb/dropkick finisher) but drops to the canvas after taking an elbow to the back from René (out of the ref’s line of sight). Val sets Rob down, goes after René, Rob charges, clothesline sends Val over the top to the outside. In the ring Lance misses with a clothesline, Rob sets for a suplex, Lance floats through and lands on his feet at the ropes. Good ol’ René trips him up, Rob uses the extra seconds to set for a DDT, it connects massively, Lance down for all 3. Damn good match.
Winners: Rob Conway & René Dupree.
Post-match René does his René Dance as Coach and Al hype tomorrow night’s Raw. End of show
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